Cards and Combat

Andromeda

Andromeda made arrangements to meet with Winter at Esme’s Epic Topdecks after he finished getting Mona set to watch those seasons. While she waited, she laughed at Esme’s tale of embarrassing Craig. The idiot really thought he’d win with three random Blazetrail packs against a Vintage deck? It’s almost a waste that Esme pulled off the Turn zero win in that scenario.

She’s just about ready to challenge Esme to a Vintage game when Winter sashays in, wearing a blouse with half of the buttons undone and a mini-skirt.

“Hey, Andromeda. I didn’t keep you for too long, did I?”

“No. Not too long.”

Esme quips, “No greeting for me, sibling?”

Winter gives the green-haired bunny-girl a head pat, “Hey, sis. Staying out of trouble?”

Esme giggles. “Nope!”

Winter smiles as he pulls out another DDH deck. Ugh, not more DDH. Then, Winter asks an odd question, “You familiar with Calgary Highlander?”

“Vaguely?”

He starts to talk as he shuffles, “Well, it is somewhat similar to DDH. 100 card singleton decks. No deity zone. They have a point system in place to keep you from just cramming your deck full of the most efficient tutors and win cons. Anyways, I know you are a more competitive sort, so I thought you might like to help me play test a variant?”

Hmm... interesting. “What are you thinking?”

“Best of 3, 1 v 1, 20 starting life, as per the usual tournament rules. We use the DDH banlist instead of the Callander points system. We still get our deities in the deity zone. Any other card that hits the field or ‘yard is exiled after the game.”

“So, if our deck draws a lot of cards, we may mill out in subsequent games?”

“That’s the idea. Want to give it a try?”

“Sure.” Andromeda starts pulling out cards from her Aurelia binder to copy the deck she borrowed on her date. She needs something to play. If it works, she might design a deck of her own for it. Hmm, I don’t that card. Then again, I don’t play this format.

“Eilistraee, The Masked Lady is my deity. Let’s not get into the whole religious doctrine behind the depiction here. She took over for her brother to be a Goddess of Rebellion for a time. Anyways, Eilistraee has vigilance, haste, a pinging ability, and the experience counter mechanic. Ready?”

Esme quietly sneaks back to the counter to watch at a distance. They shuffle up and draw seven each. Two mana ramp in hand, plus enough leylines to play my deity turn three. Just like last game. They both keep. That Eilistraee is WBR, which is probably a hard color combination to play in this format. Sure enough, Andromeda gets her deity out first, despite hers costing more.

“So, I imagine you are curious about something. Ask away. I’m an open book.”

Winter is still missing red leylines. Bioartifice Arena is also not a great source of card draw. Get some chip damage in while he’s open. “Would it be rude to ask about the skirt?”

Winter finds a red source, and plays a phoenix in hand instead of his deity. Flying, haste, lifelink, making extra bodies and granting experience counters? That thing has to go as soon as possible. “Not at all,” Winter replies as he declares attacks, “I don’t own a lot of clothes you would consider ‘male encoded.’ Some of that is that male fashion here is much broader than back in your home world. Skirts are worn by both sexes for ease of access for sexy times. Some of that was my condition. Pants just didn’t feel right. I did wear a good shirt and pants combo last night.”

Another couple of turns , with the bird’s lifelink canceling out some damage, Winter’s deity played and growing, and Andromeda cracking back. It’s nice to have some conversation while playing. I see what Mona is trying to get me to do. “How was it like? Living in a body that didn’t work as intended.”

Drew a Putrefy? Bye bye birdie.

“Frustrating. Everything was just harder for me, except for the one thing. My moms protected me from most of the cultural issues, but they couldn’t protect me from feeling so inadequate.”

Keep playing morph creatures, but not too many. I have to make sure I have enough cards for game two. “Now that you are whole, are you content?”

“Well, I got a sexy bull boyfriend, an equal sexy Mistress that’s the same person, and I think I can make something good with Mona. So, assuming we actually save your world, yeah, I’m content. You?”

Now that’s a good question. “I don’t know. How to win against that... thing feels so beyond us.”

“You got this game. Wanna share what you know?”

Andromeda thinks about it as they shuffle. Another play my deity on Turn 3 hand. Less exciting morph creatures. She finally comes to a conclusion. “You don’t know anything about it? Keeping. Your decision.”

“Going first. Keep. Only thing I know is what you lot have shared. My moms kept us in the dark.”

He played an Angel’s Aid? Hmm... “Why not tell you?”

“None of our business. Cast, then hit you with Eilistraee. Go. And share.”

I drew a chromeshell crab? Interesting. “All I really got, other than what you already know, is an image. An image that gave me nightmares.”

“Play a treasure map, then swing with Eilistraee. Care to share?”

Trying to goad a block? Let’s see. “Block.”

“Response, flash in a vorpal sword. Ping to kill the blocker, gain an experience.”

Oh, I see what his deck is trying to do. Clever. “The thing looked like a cuttlefish growing out of a centipede?”

“Image come with a size reference? Thornbite staff. Auto-equip to Eilistraee. Ping your board down?”

Oh, this is so mean. “Response on targeting my morph creature, spend five to flip. Chromeshell crab. Trade you your deity for this dying creature.”

“Whelp, you probably got me, but we’ll see. Stoneforge Mystic?”

“Kill it when the ETB hits the stack.”

Winter sighs, “Flawless Maneuver. Fetch Ultimate Armory Biomutated.”

Couple leylines away from that playing that from hand and I already drew a Reality Shift. Not a problem. Ooh. The assassin from last game. And Eilistraee counts as an assassin. Andromeda kills the Mystic upon blocks with Eilistraee’s death-touched enhanced ping, then cloaks a leyline from on top of Winter’s deck. Unless he draws a piece of removal, I got the win. “No size reference. I got the image as card art in a dream, though. Might have been more detail that I missed?”

“Fair. Verge Rangers, hoping it lives long enough to let me maybe get a land from the top? And... nope. So, back to the more important question. Assuming we survive Mr. Centipede-Cuddlefish, do you see yourself being content with all of this?”

That is a hard question. Andromeda hesitates a little as she answers, “I need... to figure out how to... love, I guess? Oh, and lethal on board.”

Winter holds out a hand, “Good game. Hey, keep in mind that we’re in this together. You need help? Ask. So, what can I do to help you seduce our Mistress real good?”

Andromeda: Minor Quest Update! Record 1-0.

Andromeda: Magic Missile spell scroll (Quest Reward)

Winter: Minor Quest Update! Record 0-1

Kevin

She waits in the practice grounds with Scarlet as Ootah and Kevin approach. Kevin has flashbacks of cumming repeatedly last time. He shudders a little.

Ootah is excited. This seems like a dream come true for her. She is already clad in armor and draws her greataxe. Kevin grabs the gear he is borrowing and starts to don it. Just before the Host begins to speak, Tegan walks up, scowling a bit. What is she doing here?

“Okay kids, we have three different training exercises. Kevin is finishing up broadsword expertise, Tegan is finishing light armor proficiency, and Ootah is starting greataxe expertise. Tegan, yours is the easiest to deal with; while I work with Ootah, Kevin is going to grab a practice sword and take some basic melee swings at you. You are to...”

“Excuse me? I paid good money for this training and you are going to pawn me off to Kevin? Forget that. You take the swings at me!”

Ooh, this can only go poorly.

“Very well. Get dressed. You’ll go last.” Tyalangan then reminds everyone how the training grounds work. She grabs a practice long sword and gives it a couple of swings. When she takes a sword stance, the air around them changes. Even Ootah loses a bit of enthusiasm in the moment. The orc looks almost somber on the starting position, axe handle in both hands.

“Sorry, Ootah. Alex got called to a battlefield, so Scarlet is here to provide advice in her stead.”

Ootah nods, understanding the situation. “I wish to go all out, Queen Aunt. Do I have permission?”

With a nod from the sea elf, the orc lets out her battle cry, which grows deeper and more resonant as the orc grows larger.

“WAAARRGGH!!!!!!!!!!!”

She covers the distance between them in a few quick strides and chops down. A rune on her axe sputters out flames, then dies out. The weapon sinks deep into Tyalangan’s shoulder, but she barely breaks out in a sweat.

Then, it’s Tyalangan’s turn. She starts that dance. Where Ootah is all power, the Host is all finesse. The difference is striking. She slips between Ootah’s guard and the blade slices straight through Ootah’s lower back. The smell of cum is overpowering.

“Good hit, I felt it, but you left an opening I could exploit. Think about where you are going to be after the follow-through.”

Ootah laughs out loud. Tegan holds her nose as she tsks, “Crazy woman.”

The rest of Ootah’s time goes the same way. She might get one good hit in, but the Host could get her to cum in a sword strike or two. Scarlet would provide advice on using the big two-handed weapon; Tyalangan would talk more about defense. She looks flushed more from the effort than the damage by the end.

When Ootah is asked to summarize, she does so with a smile on her face.

Ootah: Training Session Success (5 XP / 10 XP)

Ootah: +5 XP (Training Session)

“That would have been a glorious death. Thank you, Aunties.”

Her inner thighs are coated in thick, white cum. Tegan crinkles her nose. My turn.

“Question, if I try to go all out right now, would leveling up reset my ability usage? I might want to try for a delve this evening.”

“Good question. Answer is yes. You can’t exactly abuse the leveling system mid-fight, given you have to level with Daphne.”

Hearing that, Kevin taps into Peerless Athlete and casts Heroism on himself again. The blade in his hand feels so right. He swings, and she leans back. The blade slices the air in front of her. She spins and hits back. He feels the blade through his neck as he cums. Fuck.

Once again, a pattern is set. Kevin maybe gets a hit in, then the counteract is devastating. She seems to match his divinely enhanced power blow by blow. She offers helpful advice between the very brief bouts. Kevin learns a lot, some about the peculiarities of the weapon the audience handed him, but mostly how much it sucks to die. Still, when it’s done, Kevin es.

Kevin: Training Session Success (13 XP / 10 XP)

Kevin: +6 XP, Broadsword Expertise (Training Session)

He slumps over to a post to try and catch his breath. Ootah teases, “You did about as well as I did.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m exhausted. How can you not be?”

“Who says that I am not? A true warrior doesn’t show it, though.”

Tegan is up. She opts for a pair of daggers, which, given her expanded breasts, makes a certain amount of sense. The fact that she is covering up still instead of having her hands in position to fight doesn’t.

When Tyalangan switches the practice weapon to her off-hand and drops the dance, Tegan gets pissed again, snarling, “Trying to take it easy on me? Don’t think I can handle it?”

“I am taking it easy on all three of you. You actually need to survive a hit; I am just giving you a chance to do so. So, ready?”

Tegan flings a dagger at the Host. It somehow flew true, only for Tyalangan to kick it aside with one of her knight boots. The off-hand sword strikes still hit, but with not nearly the force that Kevin or Ootah experienced. The fox-girl is still on her feet.

The girl slashes wildly while trying to protect her modesty. She gets laughed at as she is ran through. When Tegan comes down from her climax, the Host addresses the vicious vixen, “Look, your ENF act is quite cute, but, in a real fight, will get you killed.”

“Says the woman who’s never lost a fight nor being forced to flaunt her body for the audience,” Tegan snorts.

Kevin is surprised to see Tyalangan pull the same quick clothing change trick he figured out to stand before Tegan completely bare except for her boots. Both Ootah and Tegan are staring, though only the former would be willing to it it. Kevin is staring, too, but focusing on the silvery starburst scar over her heart. The Host turns to ask, “Hey, Scarlet, how many times did I literally die during my season?”

The oread replies, “Two, maybe three, depending on how we should count you suffocating right before the second challenge.”

“So, I have lost fights before. And don’t say I won’t give the audience a little T ‘n’ A at my expense if it will help Mona save your world at the end. Shall we try the fight again like this?”

Tegan sighs, her eyes still not off of Tyalangan’s bare tits (not that she’d ever it it), as far as Kevin can tell. “Fine. Point taken.”

“Then tell me what you learned.”

Tegan summarizes the lesson extremely well.

Tegan: Training Session Success (12 XP / 5 XP)

Tegan: +8 XP, Light Armor Proficiency (Training Session)

Tegan starts to slip her clothes back on, only for Tyalangan to interrupt, “Stop. An offer, if you are interested. Mattie offered to sell you a magic chestguard. I will give you it for free. All you have to do is wear just that armor for the rest of the day, go level up to Level 5, then go on a delve tonight. You can even try it out during the delve. Your party wins and you actually use your magic strategically, the item is yours. Interested?”

Kevin is surprised by the result. Tegan merely nods, still staring at the sea elf’s breasts, stating, “Fine. I’ll play your perverted game.”

Kevin thinks he sees a knowing smirk as Tyalangan turns away, wrapping an arm around Scarlet’s waist before walking off, still naked save her boots. Did Tegan just get played?